Death of My Pet

In my work with Hospice and Quality at Life End Institute, as part of the Montana StoryKeepers, I have witnessed the love affair many elderly have with their pets.  Pets force them to get up each morning, to get exercise, to focus on something outside their own problems and pain, and are a wonderful companion.

It is no wonder so many who need hospitalization or assisted living refuse to go for help, for fear of leaving their pet.  I have heard of people who are ill, but who downplay their illness to the doctor rather than take a chance of being separated from their pet.

“A dog wags his tail with his heart.”

Heidi Eklund, a skydiver from New York , shares a story of Marley. This is just one little part, you will want to Click Here to get the rest of the story.

“On June 9, 2008, my little Pug, Marley, just didn’t wake up.  He was a sensational being with an amazing personality.  He was a big dog in a little body and very much a clown.  A couple of years ago I changed my lifestyle completely taking on two jobs so I gave Mr. Marley to my Mom, a retiree, who had all day to dote on his every move.  She cared for him like he was her grandchild spoiling him rotten.  All the neighbors in her retirement community loved him too.  He was a love and everyone loved him.

I decided I would skydive his ashes with a bunch of my skydiver friends.  Since my partner and I are in the video production business, I will video the event and make a short video tribute to Marley calling it Marley’s First Jump.  Part of his remains will stay with Mom, part will go in my garden, and some in a piece of jewelry.”

A pet becomes the focus of attention, affection and routine for many elderly or retired people.  The pet listens to the stories over and over again, never tiring or complaining.  The love of a pet, especially to a housebound person, is unconditional and the companionship priceless.

The Quickest And Least Painful Way To Begin Healing From the Loss of Your Pet

There is never just “one way” to heal from a traumatic blow to your life, but here are some suggestions that have worked for me and others I have counseled in grief workshops…

• Don’t let others tell you how you should feel.
• Don’t minimize your feelings to make others more comfortable.
• Even if you feel like you need to be alone to grieve, don’t isolate yourself.
• Write about your feelings, either in a journal or a poem.
• Prepare a memorial and tribute for your friend.
• Plant a flower or tree in memory of your pet.
• Make a charitable donation in the name of your pet.
• Compose a song about your pet.
• Frame a photograph.
• Volunteer your time at the local Humane Society.
• Donate items to an animal shelter or neighbor in the name of your pet.

Discover The Secret Power Of Simple Stories To Heal Grief And Bring Peace To Your Suffering

Experiencing the loss of a pet companion may be the most difficult part of owning or being owned by an animal friend. This book will assist you in finding comfort if your beloved pet is either nearing death or has died.  The stories are gathered from pet owners and lovers just like you.

You will share their stories, poems, pictures and resources to help guide your journey into dealing with the loss of your pet.

• Enjoy the Printable Prayer that was written and shared by Rev. Ann Keeler Evans  called Prayer on Losing Your Dog.
• Read pet loss poems, quotes about losing a pet, as well as words to say in terms of pet condolence.
• Find resources to order pet loss sympathy cards and gifts, or find support groups for others who are also going through the loss of a family pet.

• Gain an understanding of alternative therapies for pets who are ill.
• Discover others who will help you on the journey to recover from the grief you are experiencing.

The strength of the human/pet bond is evident when hurricanes and disaster floods happen and owners refuse to leave their pets behind to perish. This connection was made abundantly clear to me as I gathered and compiled the stories that were submitted for I Lost My Best Friend Today - Dealing with the Loss of a Beloved Pet .

Never before have I seen such an outpouring of intimate thoughts, emotions and support for others in the same situation. I truly felt like I was on a journey to  peace  and acceptance as so many people, just like you and I shared their deepest emotions, struggles and ultimate triumph over this and other significant losses in their lives.

You, too, will feel a part of this community support as you read the amazing true stories and look at the photos that the contributors have given as a gift so that others may also heal.

Jessica Newell of Dallas Texas shared her emotions about Isabella:

Thank you for this outlet. I’m nearing the third anniversary of the death of my sweet girl Isabella, a black Chihuahua. She made a profound impact on my life, and I still miss her everyday.

In June 2005, I came home during my lunch break to discover a house fire in my Uptown Dallas townhome.  The fire fighters found Isabella’s nearly lifeless body in an upstairs bedroom.  After four painful wait-and-see days at the emergency vet, we accepted that her little lungs couldn’t fight any more.  We agreed  with the doctor’s recommendation to put Isabella to sleep.  Surrounded by my husband and my best friend, I cradled her in my arms, kissed her head and spoke softly to her while she drifted off to sleep.

The days that followed were some  of the most painful I’ve  ever known.  I’ve lost relatives and friends, yet somehow, losing Isabella was different.  I felt grief and sadness for sure, but I also felt guilt.  Guilt that I wasn’t able to better protect her, this small, sweet devoted little creature.  I sought solace in others’ favorite memories of Isabella.  I poured over every picture I ever snapped. And I looked for books that granted me permission to grieve “just a dog.”

4 Stages of Grief and Why They Are Important To Know If You Want to Ease The Pain You Feel

With pet loss, the stages of grief and bereavement are the same as any other major loss.  In 1969, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a world renowned psychiatrist and authority on death, outlined the various stages which include the following:

1.    Shock/Denial/Numbness. We cannot believe this has happened to us.  Our body and emotions numb themselves against the pain.  The mind denies the loss. Often we will say things like “This can’t be true.”  One of the valid reasons for memorials and funerals is to acknowledge that death did take place, that our beloved will no longer be with us in body.

2.    Fear/Anger/Depression. After the numbness wears off and we are once again able to feel, all of our repressed feelings come roaring back. Sometimes these feeling are not rational at first and can seek someone to blame, either an outsider or ourselves.

“I can’t share how sad I am about my dog, because my co-workers will think I am crazy. But, on the other hand, I inquire about their childÂ’s cold and buy their stupid Girl Scout cookies to support them.  It isnÂ’t fair!  Oh God, please donÂ’t let me start crying at work again.  I heard someone call me a drama queen and say; ItÂ’s only a dog, not a child.  I just need someone to acknowledge my sadness.”

3.    Understanding/Acceptance/Moving On.  We finally realize that the world will continue to turn, that loss is a natural part of the cycle of life and that we will make a new and different existence without our loved one.  Moving on does not mean forgetting the lessons we have learned from our loved one.  We have the memories and experiences of good times as a foundation for the remainder of our lives.

4.    New Hurts may Trigger Old Wounds. You may have denied yourself the right to go through these steps with an earlier pain.  Perhaps you muffled your emotions with food, drugs, alcohol or sheer force of will. Now, that you are more open and your heart is raw and vulnerable, these areas of past loss may come forth and need to be healed.  Give yourself the gift of healing and letting go of old pains and resentments that can keep you stuck.

Each individual will experience and express grief in his/her own personal way. You or the friend who receives this book as a gift may find the stages are not always followed in sequence and indeed may have to be revisited many times before the heart is healed.